Oasis Of The Zombies (1982)

A lot of lies in this poster

A lot of lies in this poster

Dear reader, my masochistic streak re: terrible movies has given you yet another review. I was under the impression that the Nazi zombie genre was fairly small, but after un-enjoying “Zombie Lake”, I discover there’s loads of the bloody things. We won’t be reviewing “Dead Snow”, because I watched it just before starting with the ISCFC and hated it, but at the urging of no-one (okay, my wife likes zombie movies and hates Nazis, so there was a little encouragement) I’ll review every Nazi zombie movie I can lay my hands on. I want no-one to have a bad entertainment decision and blame me for not writing a thousand words of nonsense about it!

 

We’ve done underwater Nazi zombies, but this is their sand-dune dwelling cousins. A pair of beautiful holiday-makers in a jeep stop to stretch their legs, and clearly our fascist undead friends are horny, as they pop up from the ground and get to eating.

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Er…hold on a minute. This sounds a bit like “Zombie Lake”, right? And by “a bit”, I mean “they’re pretty much the same movie”. Let’s do a list of ways they’re the same:

 

  • Zombie nazis
  • Roused by hot females
  • A very long flashback to WW2, where a soldier has a baby with a woman who dies in childbirth
  • At the end of the flashback, some badass Allies whup Nazi ass
  • Stupid ending where all the Nazis are wiped out, after appearing indestructible to that point
  • Involvement of Jess Franco

 

I don’t know what went on, but Franco, after quitting “Zombie Lake” due to the tiny budget, went back to work for Eurocine the next year and appears to have re-used significant portions of his own script. It’s really extremely similar, so I’m presuming there’s a good story behind it (well, better than the story they chose to put on screen). At least this one didn’t have a chuffing dead Nazi as the romantic lead!

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The reason all these people want to go into the desert is down to good old Nazi gold. It turns out that the transport we see in the flashback had $6 million worth on it, although the Allies never bothered searching the trucks or anything like that. The sole survivor of the Nazis decides after 35 years he probably ought to swing by and pick the gold up, so he goes to the sole survivor of the Allies, gets the map and then just kills him. I don’t know, if you can’t trust a fascist, who can you trust? He also seems pretty chill when the other guy tells him his soldiers might well be zombies now, expecting they’ll still listen to his orders (spoiler: they don’t).

 

I wrote in my notes “looks like two groups are converging on the gold”, but that might have been slightly fun and exciting, so it doesn’t happen. The son of the dead English soldier, who’s now a student in London, also learns about the gold and decides to round up a bunch of his student friends and go too, but they don’t arrive til the other group are pretty much slaughtered, and don’t really do much of anything themselves. There’s an idea that the zombies are protecting the gold, although who they’re doing it for is a conundrum never solved.

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There’s a couple of incidents which date this movie better than a receipt from opening night. The flashback involves the Allied soldier meeting and falling in love with a Muslim woman – there’s even a sex scene where she goes full frontal. Could you imagine the storm of abuse such an image would get in a movie today? It’s perhaps handy to remember that in the post-WW2 period, there was a lot of that Eastern eroticism sold to Western audiences, and pre-revolutionary Saudi Arabia (for example) was seen as a bit of a pleasure palace. This sort of casual indifference (to modern eyes) to Islam extends to when the son gets to Africa, and he and his friends stroll through a group of men kneeling in prayer, literally striding over them in a few instances. It’s perhaps the most shocking image of the entire thing!

 

There’s one really cool-looking zombie in this, an obvious model of a skull with half a jaw, and bits of skin hanging off. Most of the money must have gone on that, because the rest of the zombie makeup appears to be glue and a smidge of white paint, smeared all over the face – better than “Zombie Lake”, but then everything is better than “Zombie Lake”. They look pretty good, though, so I shouldn’t be too mean, even if their hair isn’t very 1940s military, more late 70s hipster. The location is interesting too – after seeing dozens of bloody jungle zombie movies, to see one set in the desert is interesting by the mere fact of its uniqueness.

 

You’ll need to really hold on to that small segment of positivity, though, as this movie is just dull. Way too much padding, way too little real incident, and there’s one line which makes me fear for the European youth of the 1980s – “let’s make Molotov cocktails, like in school”. No one element is really really awful, but it all comes together to just suck the life out of you. It’s not like there’s even much of the tricks of the exploitation director’s trade on display – no gratuitous nudity, barely any gore. There’s a moderately funny bit where, after burning all the zombie corpses, our main couple get horny and have sex very close to the piles of undead – not the moment I’d choose, but whatever. The end also has some scenes shot from above, where the sand is very clearly a few handfuls thrown on a sand-coloured blanket, indicating re-shoots (or a very lazy set designer).

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The thing is…it ought to be pretty easy to make a Nazi zombie movie. The 20th century’s greatest villains when they were alive, and now they’re dead? It should be a no-brainer. In both this and “Zombie Lake”, the uniforms the zombies were wearing was the least relevant thing about them. Why not try and make them a bit Nazi-like? Or use more of the trappings of their political creed, have them attack someone wearing a Star of David first? Anything other than this dull nothing would have been preferable.

 

Another movie which looked great on video shelves in the 1980s, but really ought to have stayed there.

 

Rating: thumbs down

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Surf Nazis Must Die (1987)

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“The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed-Up Zombies”. “Ballistic: Ecks v Sever”. “Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter”. “Pfffht”. “Rat Pfink A Boo Boo”. “The Linguini Incident”. What do these movies have in common? Two things – titles so terrible that whoever named them deserves to be shot; and movies so terrible that whoever made them deserves to be shot. To this list we can now add “Surf Nazis Must Die”.

We have Troma to thank for this, the occasionally great company who have given us so much. For every “Nuke Em High” there’s got to be some cheap piece of garbage they bought in and re-packaged with a garish title, I suppose. This is like Troma Enjoyment Tax.

There’s not much plot to speak of. An earthquake has hit California and it’s now a largely lawless place, with gangs centred around surfing and the beach taking over – primarily, of course, the Nazis. They kill a black guy just because he’s black, so his grandmother, who’s moved into a nursing home but is obviously a badass grannie, decides to take matters into her own hands and get some revenge.

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If you think an old lady kicking ass while using a variety of high-explosive devices is intrinsically funny, then you’ll like this. Otherwise, you’re screwed. At 15 minutes in, I was checking the time remaining, because it was already dragging; and it does not get better. It’s a film that came up with a title and then had absolutely nothing else – no inspiration, no acting, nothing. The name “Surf Nazis Must Die” begs to be attached to a movie full of insanity and speed and death and wild, over-the-top-ness, but what it gets is none of that. The Nazis are fairly angry, as is the bereaved grandma, but it’s a serious revenge film with the added non-bonus of being made for no money and shot in some deserted concrete wasteland in California.

Even if all that were correct, which it is, there might still be some enjoyment to be had. Revenge films are big business in Hollywood nowadays, so there’s definitely a market for them. But the terrible doesn’t stop there! It’s also thoroughly incoherent – who are all these people? Why are they annoyed with each other? Why are they Nazis? Why do they kill that guy? What’s the point of any of this rubbish?

Surf-Nazis-Must-Die
Don’t be tempted by the title, ISCFC readers. I know that every generation must discover this anew, smile at the title and track it down – thanks to Youtube, it is now available for free – but please resist the temptation. I watched this with a group of friends in my early 20s, and distinctly remember being really bored at the end of it. Perhaps, I thought, the years would be kinder to it. Perhaps my taste for ridiculousness has mellowed. No. It’s just terrible, and remains terrible.

Please, also, disregard the rest of the internet. You will encounter many people who say it’s great if you can take a joke, if you’re not one of the PC police, and so on. The fact there are Nazis in it (one of whom was played by Ted Prior, in a rare role where his brother wasn’t the director) is like no.50 on the list of objectionable things this movie does. It’s rubbish, because it’s poorly made, stupid, and the only reason anyone in the world cares about it nowadays is down to its title.

If anyone ever says “hey, let’s watch that Surf Nazis movie, it’ll be fun!” kill them and get yourself new friends. Nothing could be less fun.

Rating: thumbs down

Don't know what other sorts of corpses there are

Don’t know what other sorts of corpses there are

Nazis At The Centre Of The Earth (2012)

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In an existence littered with no-good “mockbusters”, this movie stands out for its makers, The Asylum. It’s riding the coattails of a fairly odd film that wasn’t really a blockbuster in its own right, “Iron Sky”; and it is one of the very very small number of Asylum films which manages to be more entertaining than its inspiration (please read my review of “Iron Sky”, which it might reasonably be said I didn’t like very much).

Nazis! I hate those guys! Right at the end of WW2, we see Dr. Mengele escaping from some Allied forces, with a package under his arm. He’s a heck of a shot, fortunately…or the Allies are all really bad at it. Anyway, his plane is lost and we’re fired into the present day, where Jake Busey clearly intends to compete with Brooke Hogan of “Sand Sharks” for the title of “least convincing scientist in the movies” (aka the Denise Richards Award). The film takes place at the South Pole, and the apparently hand-picked group of scientists there need to be told the most basic information, over and over again – if you’re going to explain the film in this way, you guys, why not have one of your group be a dumbass?

Anyway, as the title of the film may have indicated, this is about Nazis who discovered an entrance to the Hollow Earth at the South Pole, and rather than using their kickass technology to win the war, decided to head off down there and build a new society for themselves. Here’s where the holes in the plot become rather more apparent and start dragging things down, but rather than dwelling on them, let’s talk about how extremely gory this film is.

The Nazis have figured out a way to become immortal, apparently, but it involves farming humans for their organs, skin, bones, etc. Some of them have maintained their appearance more than others, and in kudos to the makeup guys, quite a lot of them are really badly disfigured. So when our scientists find a way down there, you know there’s going to be some double-crossing, some very graphic face-peeling-off scenes, and really a lot more blood and guts than you’d expect from an Asylum film. They’re also not afraid of dealing with Jews in the same way they always dealt with them, which came as a bit of a surprise.

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The thing that continued to surprise me throughout the film is how far they were prepared to go. This is the first Asylum film I can remember where they really went for that grindhouse feel, where you’d expect them to cut away for something because they couldn’t afford to film it, but they stayed right there. The plot is another area where things go way OTT, just when you think you’ve got a clue where they might be going they take another turn, and then they absolutely nail the ending. You’ll love it!

For an Asylum film, this absolutely ruled. A decent cast, okay special effects, and a gleeful disregard for good taste. Like I said, not perfect (so much exposition!) but a step in the right direction.

Rating: thumbs up

Puppet Master 3 – Toulon’s Revenge (1991)

"When Bad Puppets Go Good" would be more accurate, but whatever

“When Bad Puppets Go Good” would be more accurate, but whatever

After a couple of films set mainly in the beautiful Bodega Bay Hotel, we’re taken back to Nazi Germany for part 3, “Toulon’s Revenge”. For those of you keeping score, my prediction during the part 2 review was wrong, and Toulon does not become the villain of the series. This goes with my incorrect prediction from the review of part 1, to indicate I may not be the best person to review these movies. But let’s try anyway.

Dr Hess, whose lab is apparently just on a normal street somewhere, is trying to reanimate dead soldiers under the supervision of Major Kraus. First up, they’ve confusingly given Hess the same surname as one of the most famous Nazis – Rudolf Hess, Hitler’s Deputy Fuhrer who for some reason flew to the UK in 1941, was immediately arrested and after the end of WW2 spent the rest of his life in Spandau Prison before committing suicide in 1987, aged 93. It’s not him. These two are played by two of the all-time great “That Guy” actors, people you’ll recognise from hundreds of shows and films but who never got the huge name recognition.

Of course, Hess is failing, and it’s only when a young Nazi goes to see Andre Toulon’s puppet show that he realises with the help of the special goo, introduced in the last film as the method for “feeding” the puppets, he can create super-soldiers. Toulon, for some reason, hasn’t figured out that the Nazis are the bad guys and it really takes the murder of his wife at the hands of Kraus for him to come round to the right way of thinking- and when a man who controls a group of badass puppets promises revenge on you, you know you’re going to get it.

6 arms to hold you

6 arms to hold you

This film also operates as the origin story for two of the series’ most iconic puppets, Leech Lady and Blade. As I’m far too lazy to do it myself, some kind souls have done a timeline of which puppets appear in which films – should you ever think “well, I’m only interested in films where Decapitron appears”.

Toulon spends the lion’s share of the film sending his little friends out to kill themselves some Nazis, and, a few minor hiccups aside, that’s exactly what he does. Which is odd, really – the first two films were haunted-house-esque horror films, and now we go to a fairly straightly played revenge film (admittedly, one with magic puppets in it) set in WW2. It’s so different a prequel that it barely qualifies as one, and that’s leaving aside the timeline issues. Toulon dies in 1939 in part 1, but this film is set in 1941 and he’s still alive and kicking; also, he says he found the magic for his puppets 15 year ago, which would be 1926, but when we’re treated to the same flashback from the last film (edited to remove the different actor playing Toulon, of course) the poster saying 1912 is clearly visible. I don’t know, I try not to nitpick these films. Sorry.

Despite my misgivings above, any film where Nazis get slaughtered and outwitted is okay in my book. And surprisingly it’s not that bad a film, with three solid veteran character actors at the centre of it – Guy Rolfe, Richard Lynch and Ian Abercrombie (who is best known nowadays for a hilarious recurring character on “Seinfeld”). In purely film terms, it’s the best of the series so far, but it might be worth pondering what we’re seeing for a moment. Toulon is a reanimated villain in part 2, so seeing the story of his earlier life where he seems to be a genial, loving, decent person, without seeing any hint of the man he would become, is disconcerting. Parts 2 and 3 were produced at almost the same time, by the same few creative people, so we can’t blame forgetfulness or retooling on any of this.

Still, as has been established, I continue to be wrong about these films, so perhaps a few of the future films, judging by the “Axis” in the title set around the same time, will give us more of this backstory. It feels like a sea change for the series, so let’s see where they go with it next. Although I can’t help but think there’s going to be a lot of different stories, linked only by the puppets and “hey, a distant relative has discovered Toulon’s horde and needs to use the puppets for evil purpose X”.

DID YOU KNOW? Puppet Master 3 is one of those films where a sequel is announced during the end credits that never happened – the name of their potential part 4 never materialised. This joins “Chasing Amy”, “The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai” and a few others – read all about it here.

"Hang around" LOL

“Hang around” LOL

The Keep (1983)

I’ve been immersing myself in the higher end of the film world for a while, thanks to Sight and Sound magazine’s list of the ten greatest films of all time, and all the other films voted for by critics and directors, so it’s nice to look through my shelves and go “ah yes, that film about Nazis being attacked by something supernatural, you shall soothe my fevered brow”.

 

To be fair, the poster was never going to have the words “incoherent mess” on it

There’s a bunch of Nazis, led by Jurgen Prochnow, who have been told to guard a village way up in the Carpathian Mountains. They potter about for a bit and set up their base inside the spooky-looking keep, but are told by the keep’s caretaker to not mess with the tons of metal crosses that are embedded into the walls everywhere. Even though they look like silver, the Nazis are assured they’re made of pewter and are worthless, and are probably given some “hey, you might let out the ancient evil spirit if you do that” speech. I was too busy listening to maybe the least appropriate soundtrack of all time, a jaunty bit of synth from Tangerine Dream (who I saw many moons ago in Liverpool, cheers to my old mate Matt). I think deliberately anachronistic music can work in film, but this just doesn’t, and it becomes so bad that you keep expecting them to reveal they’re people from the 80s who’ve gone to a World War 2 theme park. Anyway, I’m wandering away from the plot here, such as it is.

 

An untrustworthy Nazi (if you could ever imagine such a thing) decides, one night while on watch (the first night? The thousandth? It’s a bit difficult to tell) to check the metal the crosses are made out of, and thinks it’s silver, so gets his mate to pull one out. This reveals a passageway further into the keep…one of them crawls down it, and we get one of the film’s few truly arresting images – what looks like an underground cave, miles and miles wide and high, with more crosses and unusual-looking gravestones.

 

Then…whoops!! the thing they warned would be released, is released, accompanied by the light show from a Tangerine Dream show of the period, aka some hilariously naff-looking special effects. The guy who was doing the exploring gets turned into a pile of goo, and the force sets about killing off the Nazis (yay!)

 

I shall try not to spoil too much of it for you. Oh okay, I’ll spoil some more. When the light is released, Scott Glenn is activated. We’ve not seen him up to this point, but we fans of cinema like this know that when someone’s eyes glow a weird colour and they suddenly start moving, they’re linked to the bad thing which just happened, usually in some supervisory capacity. He then heads off for the Keep, as do NAZI REINFORCEMENTS, led by Gabriel Byrne in his earlier, hungrier days. They’re the black-shirted fellows – the SS? And are way more evil than Prochnow and his lot. It’s revealed later that Prochnow would have fought on the side of the anti-fascists in the Spanish Civil War, although why he then signed up to fight for the Nazis a few years later is a conundrum which was left on the cutting room floor.

 

So, we’ve got two lots of Nazis, a mysterious supernatural killing machine, some villagers, Scott Glenn’s on his way, and we then get the last two pieces of the puzzle. Some writing appears on the wall, so Byrne finds out the only person who can translate it is a professor who’s been taken to a ghetto somewhere, being Jewish and all. He gets the professor and his daughter out, and it turns out to be a cut-price Sean Young and…Ian McKellen! He’d perhaps had a bash on the head before filming this, as he’d completely forgotten how to act. Turns out he’s not really a professor, just that one of the villagers wanted to save a few of his friends from being killed for their religion. Good work that fella!

 

The film, never particularly good, interesting or coherent, now just stops making any sense whatsoever. The supernatural force is revealed to be…well, my guess was the Golem, the creature of Jewish myth, and the word is uttered during the film, but it seems much more powerful and less discriminatory in its murdering ways. Anyway, it has a power totem which it needs taking out of the Keep so it can get on with the business of killing Nazis, and it asks McKellen for some help, not before doing some magic which makes him a younger man again (the only comment he gets for being obviously 30 years younger is “this place seems to agree with you”). Glenn shacks up with McKellen’s daughter for no reason, after knowing her for about 30 seconds, and I could have lived my whole life without seeing a Scott Glenn love scene. The monster turns up the power dial on its killing, and we’re set for a showdown, of sorts, where Glenn tries to stop McKellen from removing the talisman.

 

“I’m the way God made me, sir”

So, is it any good? No, of course not. The clever money (well, other reviewers) is on the last half of the film being heavily cut by the studio, which makes none of what happens in that climax make any sense. I don’t think there’s much which could have made this film better, though – the acting is pretty bad, the special effects are poor, the music is terrible, and there’s the sense through the entire film that any attempts to make it historically authentic were to be avoided at all costs.

 

For a director like Michael Mann (who has done many good films) and a cast like that to make a film this rotten, though, something must have gone wrong, somewhere. I think more of a sense of the passing of time and its effect on the Nazis would have helped, as would less dry ice and laser-style special effects…keeping the main monster shrouded in smoke til the last possible second would have helped too, I reckon. Oh, you know what else would have helped? If the Nazis had just gone “well, looks like this Keep is a pretty bad place. I know, let’s set up a camp in the village which is right next door, and not just let ourselves get picked off”. But such logic is not for the residents of films such as this.

 

Rating: 1 golem out of 5

 

PS: I don’t know if modern Nazis have a google alert on uses of the word. If they do, and it brings them here, please, the lot of you, kiss my spotty multicultural ass.

 

The Keep on IMDB
Buy The Keep [1983]

Iron Sky (2012)

This is the film sites like this were designed for. If you’ve found your way here, then chances are you’ve at least seen some of the hype surrounding this, but what, you might well be asking, is the film actually like? I think we’ll be getting other reviews for this film from the other reviewers here, so be aware that the views expressed in this review do not represent the views of the entirety of the ISCFC.

There are too many ideas in this picture!

Also, I’m going to be spoilering the hell out of this film, so if you’ve not seen it yet, I’ll do a quick review for you, and then move on to the substantive spoilered review.

QUICK ONE: Don’t bother. It thinks it’s funnier and cleverer than it is.

LONG ONE: I don’t know if you’re fans of Futurama or not, but there’s a scene which made me laugh and stuck with me. The crew visit a planet populated by robots, and the robots make films where humans are the bad guys. Only they’re not humans – they’re robots with extremely unconvincing human “skins” over them. And that’s what this film felt like to me – as if a group of robots from another planet had decided to make a film about humans, had only the faintest understanding of human society, and were armed with a badly translated book of history.

So, the film. A Sarah Palin-alike President in 2018 has organised a trip to the moon to boost her approval ratings, and she’s sent a black male model as one of the crew. The posters up all over New York are “Black To The Moon”, which in the era of Obama seems oddly and irritatingly anachronistic. Also, there’s no way the guy they picked for the film was good looking enough to be a model. Hey, this stuff is important! So, they get to the Moon, and one of them takes a stroll over a hill, and sees…a gigantic Helium-3 mining operation, run by the Nazis! Their ship is blown up when the Nazis find out they’re there, and only the male model survives, taken prisoner. He appears to not know anything about history, as he tries to talk stereotypical black street language to them, and they just kick his ass.

The Nazis, it is hinted, found some alien technology and, escaping earth at the end of WW2, sent some people to the dark side of the moon to set up a base there, in a move which is never adequately explained. Well, they’re supposed to be mining the aforementioned Helium-3, which will provide virtually unlimited energy for the people of Earth, but never seem to do anything with it. I get the feeling that looking at the film in this sort of depth would be discouraged by the makers of the film, but there’s no reason why a film can’t be balls-to-the-wall insane and still bother to explain its main plot points. We get this information in a nice bit of school-room exposition, led by Renate Richtner (the lovely blonde woman you see at the top of this review), whose Dad is the main Nazi scientist. Ain’t that always the case? I feel like I ought to skip ahead a bit…the Nazis find the mobile phone that Male Model has brought with him, and instantly declare it to have more computing power than their entire base. Finally, they think, the power needed to run their Gotterdammerung machine! But the battery runs out after a few seconds, and although they can hook it up to their main computer, they can’t recharge it or anything like that.

Wow, I’m not skipping forward very far. Okay, Mark, game-face. They decide to take a trip to the Earth to find a mobile phone with 100% charge, and take Male Model with them. He’s been turned white with some serum, and apparently brainwashed too. They don’t bother doing anything as silly as checking to see the brainwashing stuck, so by the time they get to the Earth Male Model is back-talking and all sorts. He escapes the Nazi clutches, so they decide to kidnap the President’s publicist, who immediately falls in love with Man-Nazi. You may notice how a better-prepared reviewer would bother to learn their names, or would do a copy&paste when he’d looked them up, but not me! The President decides having a couple of space Nazis advising her on policy would be a good thing, and they get to work organising a war to keep the President in office.

Moonbase shaped like a swastika…okay, that bit I liked

Three months later! Male Model is now stood on a street corner with a straggly beard, trying to convince people that the Nazis are coming. Getting some make-up and a haircut and, I don’t know, going back to his old life seems out of the question for him. Still, if he did that how would the plot continue to rumble along? He meets up with the nice Nazi lady, who clearly believes all the propaganda about how the Nazis are really all about peace and goes up to a gang of shaven-headed thugs spraypainting swastikas and is mocked and pushed about for her trouble. So her and Male Model team up…Then my brain sort-of glossed over a bit. There was a fight, and the Bad Nazi (a qualifier I never thought I’d need to use) took an iPad and headed off back to the Moon to start up the Gotterdamerung (don’t worry, I had to check I’d already mentioned it in this review too). Did he want to stay on Earth and something happened to force him to go back? Or was he just really bad at finding a phone? I’ll leave that for you, reader, to figure out when you watch it yourself.

Space battle! All the countries of the world have their own heavily armed “satellites” in space, which they didn’t tell the President of the USA about! An organisation which is presumably supposed to be the UN degenerates into a mass brawl between the assembled world leaders! Can Good Nazi and Male Model save the world, and the innocent brainwashed Nazis on the moon?

Well, that’s enough about the film itself. I really didn’t like it, and here’s why. First up, it can’t decide what it wants to be – a comedy? A serious action film? A political satire? A steampunk action adventure? Perhaps in the hands of better filmmakers, this stew could have made something special but from these guys, it fell between way too many stools. The “satire” was exceptionally heavy-handed, to the point it felt like I was watching a porn parody of a real film I’d never seen. This also fed into the acting – especially Male Model and President Palin.

I think films which have really strange premises should and could have internal logic that allows you to not ponder why X is happening and just enjoy the film. Take, for instance, “Crank”, one of the most brilliant fast-paced and insane films of recent years, which has logic (of a sort). I’ve already mentioned a few of the more glaring plot holes in this film, but the main one for me is, why didn’t they just use the alien technology they’d got and win the war back in 1945? Why was their technology stuck in place, to the extent a mobile phone had more power than their entire base? Even if the world was really bad in 2018, wouldn’t we remember the Nazis were super-evil and not let them into the highest echelons of Government?

This film is a Finnish / German / Australian co-production, and the director is Finnish. It’s interesting to see what someone way outside America thinks of it and how they portray it on film. It becomes less interesting when you learn the director is in a “dark metal” band and has previously directed a couple of cheap sci-fi parodies.

Everything about this film just seems crude or silly, so I’m baffled as to how it’s entranced so many normally sensible reviewers and filmgoers. Well, I think it’s got something of the “Snakes On A Plane” or “Dead Snow” about it – a film with an excellent premise that has no idea of how to actually execute that premise. It’s not wild enough to be what it’s striving for, and it’s not well-made enough to qualify for your interest any other way. If I had to say something nice about it, I’d say that the world of the Nazis on the moon is fairly well thought out and looks decent.

My soon-to-be-traditional “one final thought” about this film – there are numerous references throughout this film to other, better anti-war films. A clip of “The Great Dictator” is played early on, and one of the characters attempts, Peter Sellers in Dr. Strangelove style, to suppress giving it the old Sieg Heil. Now, I’m all for using the rich tapestry of film history to illustrate points in new films, but if the film you’re making is no good, then having references to two of the best films of the 20th century in it will just make everything around it pale in comparison.

Rating: 1 star

Iron Sky on IMDB
Buy Iron Sky [DVD]