Black Christmas (1974)


Part of why I enjoy doing this is to learn stuff at the same time as giving you, dear reader, a few interesting tidbits too. While I’d heard of “Black Christmas” before, it was pretty much exclusively as a proto-slasher, that occasionally some smug reviewer would say “well, actually Halloween wasn’t the first, blah blah blah”. I may be lazy, poor at checking details, and prone to crowbarring my own stupid theories into reviews, but I try very hard not to be smug, so with that in mind our Christmas season rolls around to this, and the discovery that it’s really nothing like your stereotypical slasher movie.


I think “Black Christmas” should join those select few movies which are great, and are set at Christmas without being about Christmas (“Die Hard”, all the Shane Black movies, if you’re feeling generous “Silent Night Deadly Night 2”). Our base of operations is a sorority house, with a few fairly big names of the future in early roles – Margot Kidder as sarcastic drunk Barb, and Olivia Hussey as Jess, the sensible heroine who provides this movie with a surprising amount of feminism. Keir Dullea, famous from “2001: A Space Odyssey”, shows up to play Jess’s douchebag boyfriend, and John Saxon’s a cop. Also, we nearly got Gilda Radner, but she got the “Saturday Night Live” job and had to pull out of this, so in the end we got Andrea Martin, who was also in 1973’s “Cannibal Girls”, which we really liked, before going on herself to a comedy career with “SCTV”.


So, it’s Christmas, and the sorority is getting quieter as most of the girls have gone home to their families, until the end of the final party of the year, when their friendly neighbourhood heavy breather gives them a call. The phone calls are a masterpiece of sound-work, full of inhuman moans and screams and snippets of speech that sound like they’re coming from all sorts of different people, and they quite legitimately frighten the life out of the sorority girls (apart from Barb, who’s too permanently soused to be bothered by much of anything). Barb loses her patience with the caller, after he starts talking about rather sexual matters, and when she starts mocking him back, he says “I’m going to kill you all” and hangs up. Whether he makes good on his promise is a conundrum I shall leave unanswered, because I cannot recommend this film highly enough and want you to watch it.


Everything is slow and deliberate, with the phone calls, the murders, and the attempts to trace the calls all being given ample space to breathe. Bob Clark directed, and looking back at his career he made some really good movies (early in his career, admittedly) – “Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things”, “A Christmas Story”, “Dead Of Night”…and “Porky’s”. Some of the shots are wonderful, especially the final journey through the house, and Clark deserves credit for fighting with the studio over the ending, rejecting their ideas in favour of the much better ambiguous ending we were left with.


He also deserves credit for the portrayal of Jess. When her boyfriend says he’s dropping out of school and that they should get married, she says no because she has hopes and dreams of her own; also, she’s pregnant and decides to have an abortion. I can’t imagine a movie being made today where the heroine makes that decision and doesn’t get punished for it, so it feels weirdly modern, but a nice version of modern, not the right-wing hell we’re currently living through.


It’s also edited wonderfully. Dullea was only available for a week, and barely met any of the rest of the cast, but the way his scenes are placed throughout the movie makes him seem much more central than he was. The regular cuts back to the rocking chair, and what’s in the rocking chair, is some of the blackest humour imaginable – there’s some proper comedy too, like the scene at the kids’ Christmas party that the sorority organises. And even more credit, this time to the cinematographer Albert Dunk, who fashioned a harness so he could get some of those extremely creepy POV shots.


So, really, I’ve not got anything bad to say about this movie. It’s slow, but actually the pace works in its favour as the fabric of the movie (script, acting, sets) is so strong that you’re not waiting for the next set piece. The murders happen largely off screen, but again when the movie is good you don’t need those shocks to keep the audience interested. It’s a whodunit without an obvious answer, and even goes as far as killing a 13 year old girl (off screen, naturally). How many movies made in 2015 would introduce a kid only to kill her off? Horror is a pretty conservative business these days, and even though the effects are better they’re often far gorier, they still feel more sanitized.


So, all in all, this is a very creepy, very good movie. I’m even looking forward to watching the modern remake, and they’re always rotten, so that tells you how much goodwill the original has built up. This could be my favourite Christmas horror movie yet, and if you get the chance give it a go.


Rating: thumbs up



Mob Story (1989)

Directed by: Gabriel and Jancarlo Markiw

Look at the above pictures; you’d assume Margot Kidder, best known for playing Lois Lane in the first batch of ‘Superman’ movies, was the leading actress in ‘Mob Story’. She isn’t, but I guess she was the big name, and the film industry has often sold a film on name power alone.

‘Mob Story’ is apparently a raucous comedy. Ha ha! That’s like Heston Blumenthal trying to tell me that a Waitrose lasagne ready meal is in the same league as one of the experimental concoctions from his world famous Michelin starred restaurant. A raucous comedy for me is something like ‘Airplane!’, ‘Hot Shots!’, or some of the eighties National Lampoon films. There are brief moments that raise a chuckle from my coal bunker belly of laughs… brief moments, not laugh a minute stuff. ‘Mob Story’ is tepidly amusing.

Mob Story opens with glorious aerial shots of NYC. Any film becomes fifty per cent more interesting when it opens with a big city view. The towering buildings, the recognizable landmarks, everything seems gloriously big and bold. We then see Luce, a dapper looking Mafia don, aged in his late fifties, arriving at a ferry station. Luce meets with his cohort Sam, and tells him that he’s going to Palm Springs.

We’re then taken to an icy Winnepeg, Canada. Gianni Romano is attempting to extort money from a woman called Maria who owns an Italian restaurant. He’s after three thousand dollars, but Maria is able to negotiate with Gianni and he feebly walks away with one hundred and fifty.

Luce, the night before his departure to Palm Springs, hears the voice of Maria, his old flame, the lady who owns the Italian restaurant. He makes an about turn at the Airport, following his heart and probably his gut instinct that he is going to be the recipient of a mob hit in Palm Springs, and decides instead to fly to Winnepeg.

Margot Kidder first appears in the film scantily clad in black lingerie; she plays Delores, a slutty looking dancer, the girlfriend of Gianni. Delores chastises Gianni for not getting the three thousand dollars from Maria, and demands that he starts to act like a gangster.

Luce arrives in Winnepeg, and as the place is colder than a polar bears nipple he declares it to be a “pretty tough town”. He arrives at the Italian restaurant and meets Maria’s son Tom, an average frustrated beta male who’s getting pussy whipped by his on/off girlfriend. Luce introduces himself as Tom’s uncle. He then meets Maria, and there is history there, deep history. Maria blames Luce for the death of her husband Alfredo, only Alfredo isn’t dead according to Luce. He is living it up in Venezuela with an attractive blonde.

The rest of the movie consists of Sam discovering that Luce is hiding in Winnepeg and sends a few hitmen over to take him out. Gianni, as the local gangster is also brought into Sam’s plan, and tries to find Luce; this involves him and Delores latching onto Tom and trying to get information from him by taking him to a hotel and indulging in a boozy ménage a trois.

‘Mob Story’ is a terribly limp parody of the gritty Gangster genre. John Vernon is warm and cuddly, and just doesn’t strike me as a feared mobster, or even an actor who is able to make a funny impression of one. Al Waxman’s performance as Sam again is pretty weak, he seems overly pathetic. Only Margot Kidder and Robert Morelli provide light relief as the bickering couple. One underutilized character is Sam’s German hitman Heinrich played by Brian Paul, who seductively licks the barrel of his gun before he shoots his victim, it would have been nice to see more interactions between him and Sam, because they do have the odd funny exchange.

If you pick ‘Mob Story’ up from a discount store bargain bin or charity shop then I’d advise you to put it back down again. It simply isn’t worth watching.

My immediate thoughts about this film were overwhelmed by my sense of pity I felt for Margot Kidder. One of my childhood crushes, Kidder was the leading lady in a successful franchise, although like to many involved in the Superman films she appeared to have been hit by its infamous curse. Maybe it’s because she became typecast, especially after her early career in Hollywood when she appeared in Brian De Palma’s acclaimed ‘Blood Sisters’. The eighties was a turbulent time for her with two divorces in between her work on the Superman films and numerous other film and TV projects, she then lost her way and was declared bankrupt, she found herself in a very dark place. I suppose it’s good to know that she’s found peace with her past, but her tale is a cautionary one for young actresses. Hollywood tends to chew you up like bubble gum, fondling you with its fat rich tongue, and then spits you out on the cold pavement when you lose your flavour.


Mob Story on IMDB
Buy Mob Story [DVD] [1989]