Blood: The Last Vampire (2009)

We recently covered the original 2000 anime “Blood: The Last Vampire”, and enjoyed it enough to track down the live-action semi-remake, made in 2009. Good news – it’s got Davos Seaworth from “Game Of Thrones” in it! Bad news – despite the huge success and popularity of the original, it was released so quietly that I wasn’t even aware it existed til a few months ago!

That original was set in 1966, but someone involved in this wanted the kids at the school to be a little rebellious and hippie-adjacent, and there’s no way army brats would have been dressing like that then, so they moved it forward to 1970 (although, aside from no-one having mobile phones, only lip service is paid to the era it’s set in).

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The producers, quite cleverly, decided to fit as many scenes from the original as they could, and also gave us more plot in areas that fans were actually requesting – like, the organisation that Saya works for, more on the creatures she’s hunting, and so on. The initial scene on the train, where Saya hunts down and kills a monster, is present and correct, filmed in an almost identical way – but the guy here fights back at a speed and strength that a normal human couldn’t manage, so the doubt over whether a deranged Saya has just murdered a non-vampire isn’t really there. Oh, and we find out a little more about her, coming from a long line of vampire-hunting samurai, her family slaughtered by the evil Onigen some 400 years ago.

The school on the US Army base that Saya is sent undercover to now has a sympathetic student, the daughter of the General, Alice McKee (Alison Miller, best known as a TV actor these days), replacing the audience-POV nurse from the anime; she’s supposed to be taking part in a martial arts tournament in a few weeks, and the hardass teacher there (British character-actor legend Colin Salmon) wants her to stay behind and train with the two mean girls. But wait, they’re vampires! Into the gym comes Saya, who throws Alice to safety before attacking the two, killing one and forcing the other to escape.

Cunningham is the head of the “Council”, which apparently has CIA backing as they’re able to clean up gore-covered crime scenes and remove the bodies from the base without the General being able to look at what they’re doing. He’s got a sidekick who doesn’t mind antagonising the soldiers, while Cunningham tries to do everything quietly and politely. I wonder if one of them will be a baddie?

As I don’t want to just recap the plot, I’ll mention the ways it’s different to its more famous forebear. There are some huge set-piece fight scenes which feature both some excellent stunt work from Saya (Ji-Hyun Jun) and some dodgy CGI, as she dispatches hundreds of vampires (seriously, how is anyone still alive in 1960s Japan if there are so many bloodsuckers there?) before being forced to escape from the base, with Alice in tow to go in search of Onigen.

I feel like someone involved in this really enjoyed “Hero”, the Jet Li-starring kung-mu masterpiece from 2002 where the camerawork and incredible visuals are perhaps more beloved than the fighting. “Blood” tries to ape some of the more famous scenes, filtered through an anime lens, but while some of them are just fine the only comparison you’ll be making isn’t favourable to this movie.

I liked the final fight, and the extension of the plot, but overall it was a pretty disappointing experience. Ji-Hyun Jun is too much of a blank slate in the central role, and everyone else (with the honourable exception of Cunningham) plays it way too far over the top. There’s precious little expectation of our hero getting in any danger, either, so if you like large over choreographed fight scenes, you might like this. If not, stick with the original.

Rating: thumbs in the middle

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Fist Of The North Star (1995)

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Another to check off the “I should have watched it when it first came out” list. Regular ISCFC readers will know Gary Daniels’ name – as well as being the goon in a ton of low-budget martial arts movies starring people like Jackie Chan and Don “The Dragon” Wilson, starting with 1994’s “Deadly Target” and ending around 2001’s “Queen’s Messenger” he had an extremely busy time of it as a leading man. He’s a very good martial artist, and not the world’s worst actor, so if you’re a lover of B-movies and see his face on the cover of something, there’s a baseline of entertainment there. He’s still working, too (he was in the first “Expendables” movie) but more as second or third banana these days.

“Fist Of The North Star” is based on an anime, which I know basically nothing about, so if I get any details wrong or make any assumptions about the source text which are way off the mark, please excuse me. But that’s not important because THIS MOVIE IS BADASS! It’s got a classic martial arts movie plot, with a really well-done post apocalyptic visual style, and it starts with the battle between two rival schools. Well, I think they’re schools, it’s honestly never clear. The North Star and Southern Cross represent some sort of balance, and “the ancient teachings” (seriously, you ancient teachers, leave more behind than just vague aphorisms) say how they should never fight each other, or something. Who cares?

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Anyway, one day the Southern Cross finds itself with Lord Shin (Costas Mandylor, sporting a sweet mullet) in charge, and he’s not into balance. So, he murders Ryuken, the boss of the North Star (Malcolm MacDowell, in the middle of his “I will appear in literally anything” phase) and takes over the city, at the same time (it’s hinted) causing some sort of environmental disaster. It’s all about the balance!

So, all there is outside the city is endless desert-wilderness, with the occasional small settlement, and one of these is X (I’m sure it had a name, but I didn’t write it down), with such acting luminaries as Downtown Julie Brown and Melvin Van Peebles (!) among its residents. They “farm” water, try and avoid the acid rain, and generally live the sort of mud-and-rust existence you’ll be familiar with from a hundred other post-apocalyptic b-movies.

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Southern Cross decides, pretty much on a whim, to invade the little town, and Shin sends his top goons, including Jackal (Chris Penn, with a horrible mesh headpiece to hold his skull together), Stalin (Clint “Gentle Ben” Howard) and Goliath (pro wrestler Vader) to kill or enslave them all and steal all their water; a task they take to with great relish. At the same time, out of the wilderness comes Kenshiro (Daniels), Ryuken’s son and now-inheritor of the North Star…clan? School? Mystical power ring? Perhaps the film told us and I wasn’t listening, I apologise. He wants revenge, although when we first meet him he doesn’t seem motivated by anything in particular.

The plot has very few surprises if you’ve spent any time in the deep end of the straight to video pool, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad because it still takes skill to tell a standard story with a bit of excitement – see, every Albert Pyun movie for how to get it wrong. Anyway, Kenshiro, after a bit of encouragement from a few plucky children, helps out the small town, first by beating the crap out of the invading goons (with some truly spectacular set-pieces where people get broken in all manner of interesting ways) and then by heading off to Southern Cross to get his revenge for the death of his father. There’s a love triangle element to it, but it doesn’t really make much of a difference to anything, apart from to get our hero up off the floor at the crucial moment of the final battle, so we can safely skate over that.

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The cast definitely realise what sort of movie they’re in and have a good time. Penn delivers a line as dumb as “it ain’t easy being sleazy” remarkably well, and while it’s not much of a stretch for Gentle Ben to play a weird-looking psycho, he gives it his all. Daniels is a bit more serious than everyone else, but kudos to him for keeping a straight face when Shin takes his cloak off to reveal perhaps the ugliest outfit in the history of cinema – like the top section of leather dungarees. It’s fun!

Now, a very rare section of an ISCFC review – praising the technical aspects of a dirt-cheap post-apocalyptic kung-fu movie. The cinematography hides the low budget well (the shanty town looks like a real shanty town, for one), and some of the sets at the end of the film look surprisingly good. The art Shin has chosen to decorate his throne room is a mix of Russian and Chinese state propaganda styles, which is a nice touch they didn’t need to do. But it’s also the way it’s shot and edited. Two last examples – there are two very different fights going on at the same time at the end, and the mirroring of them is just superb, as a move from one fight is subtly altered and replayed in the other fight. Great stuff.

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But there’s one touch which is just cleverness on a level these movies very rarely achieve. Kenshiro and Shin, in the final fight, both have their supernatural “finishing moves”. Shin uses his on Kenshiro, which seems to cause blood vessels in his arms to explode and nearly finishes him off. But Kenshiro is made of stronger stuff, of course, gets up and continues to fight…but doesn’t use his arms. So many movies treat injuries to their leading man as a mild inconvenience, so when someone bothers paying attention it really stands out.

This movie has had a rough time of it, critically. Looking at IMDB, a lot of negative reviews are from people who are familiar with the anime – I’ve never seen it – or just seemingly annoyed at watching a good old martial arts film. And that’s what it is, at its heart, with a fantastic martial artist sort-of acting his way through a good, fast-paced, fun movie. It’s unlikely to make you rethink your life, but you’ll have a damn good time watching it.

Rating: thumbs up

PS-  I’m glad the era of Western anime nerddom seems to be over, because most of it was a right load of old rubbish. Have you ever seen “Legend of the Overfiend”? Like asking an 18 year old to just list the most shocking and offensive things he could think of, for 90 minutes – anyway, a story for another time.