The Lost Platoon (1990)

After a long, somewhat less-than-ideal run of very similar movies, our current featured director David A Prior has put something different into the mix. Okay, it’s still a war movie, features a command tent, has flashbacks and none of the characters can shoot worth a damn, but there’s a new thing in there.

Vampires! “Based on a concept by Ted Prior” (who doesn’t appear in this) – I presume this was a coke binge one evening where Ted said to his brother “why don’t you, I don’t know, put some vampires in one of your stupid war movies?” to which David said “screw you! I will!”

After we get that sort of vampire-movie-font opening credits, we’re given an actually pretty smart opening. An old man is looking at photos of soldiers from a variety of conflicts – from the US Civil War to WW1 to WW2 to Korea to Vietnam – and has circled a bunch of faces in each one. Could they be…the same? Quick flashback to his buddy dying next to him in WW2, and him being saved by a mysterious fella in a Civil War uniform, and we’re cracking on.

One of the more curious things about David A Prior is his re-use of actors at wildly different levels of exposure. You may remember Pappy, the bald comic-relief sidekick in “Rapid Fire” – well, Doug Harter was in a bunch of roles so tiny his characters don’t even have names in other AIP productions, then suddenly fifth billed, then back as “convict” or, as he is here, “random truck driving army guy”. Similarly, the villain of “Rapid Fire”, Michael “son of John” Wayne, is here as one of the vampire soldiers, but not the star, the villain or the main sidekick of either. Even so, quite a lot of the cast are making their first appearance in a Prior movie – no Ted, no William Zipp, no Fritz Matthews.

I keep getting sidetracked! Anyway, Hollander, the old guy we saw at the beginning, is the world’s most famous photographer, as everyone he meets for the first ten minutes tells him. He’s off to Nicaragua, apparently, although it’s never really named, to take photos of the war going on, but as he’s friends with the Colonel in charge of proceedings, he’s going to use his photography skills to convince the military top brass to send more troops and more stuff. Yes, this is the only military photographer in history whose job is as propagandist for the military!

He’s stood around one day chatting to a friendly soldier about his experiences, when he sees out of the corner of his eye a group of oddly dressed soldiers, including one in Civil War gear…his new friend says they’re part of another battalion who got separated and are just hanging out there for a little while, despite the rather obvious visual problem with such a statement. He starts investigating, and even goes to the Colonel with his suspicion that they have a group of vampires in their midst.

I wrote several times “I have no idea what the villain’s plan is”, and after a day of pondering, I’m still not sure. It’s fairly obvious, long before the reveal, that both he (Vladmir, played by Roger Bayless, his only credit) and his evil sexy sidekick Tara (Michi McGee) are vampires too, but they’ve raised an army and are in the local-villager-slaughtering business.

We spend a lot of time with the vampires, although we don’t find out much about them. Most of them are centuries old, so my initial thought that their outfits were the ones they were wearing when they died, seems to be blown out of the water. There’s the sensible boss guy; a hothead who wants to vamp up all the time and tear all the bad guys to shreds; a quiet one (sorry, don’t blame me for their lack of characterisation) and an even quieter one. Just the idea of them being badasses on the side of good is an interesting one, that they tour the wars of history and rip the bad guys to pieces, even if the movie claims a relationship between the groups of vampires that isn’t really there. Like, the good guys didn’t even know the bad guy was Vladimir until really close to the end?

The interesting thing about the group, to our 2018 eyes, is the casting of hothead Walker. He’s Stephen Quadros, and if you watched any old mixed martial events (Pride, Elite XC, and, oddly, one UFC computer game) he’s the commentator. He’s still acting regularly, and choreographs fights for movies too – I wish he’d done a few more for this one.

Also, thumbs up for some of the touches they bring to proceedings. The vampires catch bullets, and one mocks the other when he slightly messes up, tossing his bullet back through the air and into the chest of a bad guy soldier. There’s also a bit where one of them throws a knife that someone has jabbed into them, and you think “that’s a bad effect, the knife’s not in that other guy” until he falls over and you see the knife has gone right through him and stuck to the tree behind. Little touches, but they bring lightness to the story, and lightness is in short supply in the world of David A Prior.

There’s an interesting twist, even! There’s a lot to like about “Lost Platoon”, even if the title makes no sense (there’s only four of them).

But. I do wish Prior would try and do something different when it comes to filming gunfights. Every single one is the same – two groups of people, standing stock still, shooting and missing, 99% of the time. If I was a trained soldier and couldn’t hit a guy standing motionless twenty yards in front of me, I’d quit. It’s just filler and dull filler at that. There’s no visual interest to it, either – like it’d be cool if they were in a good location as opposed to the woods near Prior’s house.

It’s got some camp fun to it, a rarity for Prior. Recommended, despite its lulls.

Rating: thumbs up

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One thought on “The Lost Platoon (1990)

  1. Pingback: Invasion Force (1990) |

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