Spacebong Beach Babes (2010)

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What’s the least amount of effort you can put in and still have the thing you made be called a movie? Join me as we find out!

Reviewing this normally will be pointless. If you’ve seen the title and want to watch it, I’m pretty sure nothing I say will make the slightest bit of difference, but let’s see if I can provide a few laughs for the sensible among you.

Three women have the big plan of going to the beach and getting high all day. One of them has to work, the other two have an audition, but they’re determined to get in maximum beach-stoner time. At the same time, some aliens who look exactly like buds of weed crash-land on earth in their bong-shaped spaceship.

The special effects are so far beyond incompetent that is has to be a joke. The spaceship is just a picture of a bong, crudely cut out of a magazine, stuck on a background of white dots on black, and the alien is literally a bud of weed with a couple of googly eyes stuck to it. But this incompetence isn’t limited to the special effects! The sound wasn’t recorded live, so you’ll have a conversation in a car that sounds like it was recorded in the director’s living room, only all three of the women were recorded at different times with different ambient sound behind them.

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The interesting thing about this movie is some of the dialogue. Two of the three are at the beach, and start talking about the environment, and pollution tax, and so on. It’s a fairly indepth discussion about the need for corporations to be punished for their environmental disasters, read out awkwardly by two stoner women. There are other examples littered throughout.

This is barely a movie. Heck, it’s barely anything. If you really, really like smoking weed, and jokes about being stoned and how good weed is…if you’ve ever laughed at someone saying “duuuuuuuuude”…then you’re definitely the target audience for this. I remain a bit unsure about why this film was made, though. The opening graphic says it’s about encouraging people to vote in favour of marijuana legalisation, but I’m not sure this is the sort of film to sway the undecided, if you know what I mean. It’s not titillating either, as the women are both annoying and remain clothed. I’m stumped.

So, at least it’s available for free. If you’re bored with films that have plots, and acting, and effects, and a reason for existence, then this might be the film for you. I wish the good time that the people who made it surely had translated to the screen, is all.

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