This movie has left me genuinely stumped. I have no idea why it exists, who it was made for, and how it got from the pen of the scriptwriter to the screen in the format it did. It’s a movie that almost entirely takes place in a 100-yard radius…there’s a lot to talk about here.
This is Sue Price’s last ever movie, and she decided to go out with a bang. She’s naked approximately two-thirds of the time she’s on screen, and given her day job as a pro bodybuilder, she’s a different sort of naked to what we fans of trashy cinema have grown accustomed to – which is as much a good thing as excessive female nudity can be, I suppose. Clearly, director Albert Pyun has a type, and he’s not afraid to let the world know with these movies.
We’re now back in 2080. The opening info-dump tells us that the war between androids and humans is over and an uneasy peace is maintained. Soldiers on both sides now work for criminal enterprises, and for Alex (Price) this is no different, as she’s an assassin for a group represented by the face of Andrew Divoff (known for the “Wishmaster” movies and a recurring character on “Lost”).
Wait, what? When we left Alex, she was still in East Africa in 1998 thinking about going back to the future, without any obvious means of doing so – and, more to the point, her DNA was the key to ending the war. But all that is completely ignored, which, if you were the sort of person who cared about stuff like continuity and not treating any fans of your previous movies like morons, would be a pretty stupid thing to do. Do you think the director gave a damn? Did he just have access to a derelict town square somewhere in Eastern Europe for a weekend and decided to knock out the first thing that came into his head? So, Alex is in the future now, the war that occupied the last three films is over, and she’s an assassin, just because.
To say the plot of this film is thin would be an insult to thin things. Alex kills a bunch of people at the beginning (with one of her boobs out, for no reason I could place) but is told by her boss (Divoff) that she’s getting sloppy and old, and should retire. Seemed okay to me! Anyway, she’s given one last job, it turns out that it’s the son of a powerful crime boss, he’s not best thrilled about his son being murdered, and this possible case of mistaken identity means that every bounty hunter in the world is after Alex to collect on the $100,000,000 bounty. In the film, this translates to three guys and a helicopter, but you get the drift.
Over half of this film is Alex talking to her victim or potential assassins, inside cars. She’ll be naked for some of them, but there is so much talking, and it’s not like the conversations are particularly interesting or enlightening either. During the all-too-rare fighting, at one point she’s naked, stood over her incapacitated opponent, and starts lifting weights. I feel like this is straight from the director’s subconscious and perhaps would be better in a straight fetish video than this weird hybrid? If it served a purpose in the film, I could understand, but it’s like she’s going “well, best keep my muscles in shape, there’s no gym on this set so I’ll just sneak it into the actual film”.
So, it turns out there’s been a double-cross, and there’s a mysterious “Angel of Death” following Alex around, and she gets a love interest who isn’t mentioned or introduced until there’s about 10 minutes to go. So I’m going to run down the things that happened in this movie, from most often to least often:
1. Nude Alex
3. Nude Alex talking
4. Standing around either puzzled or lifting weights
5. Standing around either puzzled or lifting weights while naked
The guy she kills to set this whole chain of events off seems quite nice. He says that Alex is a pure human, so he’s not sexually attracted to her (she’s pretending to be a prostitute). He says he’ll pay and apologises, and asks to go back to the hotel he was at. Now, killing a decent-seeming character like this is a weird choice for a film, but Alex does it anyway, and she just carries on the rest of the film as if we’re supposed to be rooting for her survival. Then, later in the film, she has weird cyber-sex with one of her potential assassins, and then a bit later than that, some weird things come out of her boobs and kill another baddie. So, is she a pure human or not? There was no reason for the film to confuse us this way.
This film is absolutely rotten, and is therefore a fitting end to this series. From the not-bad-but-a-bit-complicated world of part 1 to a part 4 where it is almost physically impossible for any less to have happened, it’s been a strange journey. I think this series, post part 1, should win an award…for the amount of contempt it shows to its audience. Films don’t need to be this bad.
Rating: thumbs down