2012: Ice Age (2011)

2012-ice-age

Maybe twenty times during this film, I stopped myself and went “have I seen this before?” My wife wandered into the room a few times during it, and went “wasn’t this on the other week?” Amazingly, we were both wrong, but I get the feeling that regular ISCFC readers will notice a few things that remind them of other films we’ve covered.

This film, which even its own publicity describes as “in the tradition of 2012 and The Day After Tomorrow”, kicks off with some sweet stock footage of environmental shenanigans. A father is dropping his daughter off at the airport while at the same time trying to have a conversation on a short-wave radio – he’s an environmental scientist and his colleague is somewhere very cold. Anyway, a glacier is on its way south, across the USA, is the upshot of all this, and you know the rest.

The family has to get together, they have to rescue the daughter from New York, the guy’s wife is all “leave me alone with your tales of impending catastrophe”, their various forms of transport fail, they meet people who then die immediately, etc. etc. It bears a very strong resemblance to “100 Degrees Below Zero”, only even worse (which is something I’m surprised to see myself write). At least that had the beautiful Sara Malakul Lane and the magnificently grizzled Jeff Fahey. This just has one of the guys from 1987’s “Summer School” and a bunch of no-marks.

"Acting was really the wrong line of work for me"

“Acting was really the wrong line of work for me”

Everyone in this film is stupid. The wife almost gets left for dead because she can’t shut up for a minute and listen; the son almost dies several times trying to rescue radio equipment and his phone – and was such a terrible actor I wondered if they’d left a bit of film out that explained about him having some serious emotional problems; the husband treats the airport staff like dirt and completely misses his daughter leaving the car to get her flight; the daughter ignores a potentially life-saving phone call; and so on.

The vast majority of this film is the journey that husband, wife and son take to get to New York and rescue their daughter; there’s a bit of her running about trying to get safe, but it’s barely worth bothering about. If this doesn’t remind you of about ten other Asylum films, you’ve clearly not seen at least ten other Asylum films 🙂 It’s just awful…but the one good thing is, a few hours after watching it, the dull flatness of it is already fading from my mind. By the morning, it will seem like a bad dream, and in a few months I’ll look over the list of Asylum releases and not be sure whether I watched it or not. Perhaps it’s for the best.

Rating: thumbs down

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