Night Of The Living Dead: Resurrection (2012)

night

“Hey guys, why don’t we make a zombie movie? I’ve got a bunch of fake blood and a few digital cameras.”

“But we don’t have a script, or any actors, or any talent”.

*CUE UPROARIOUS LAUGHTER*

“We don’t need any of that! The original “Night Of The Living Dead” is in the public domain now! And horror fans are idiots, they’ll hoover up any old garbage with “living dead” in the title!”

And so we are blessed with “Night Of The Living Dead: Resurrection”, a remake / reimagining of George Romero’s original zombie classic. I used “blessed” in the loosest possible sense, of course. We start off outside a Welsh corner shop, where a group of people clearly in their 20s have to ask a passing adult if he’ll go into the shop and buy them some beer. Blah blah blah zombies, so they all scatter to the four winds as who we think is the film’s real hero tries to help them out. He’s Ben, and he’s driving to find Barbara, despite society rapidly collapsing around him.

There’s a rather nice touch here, which led me to believe this might not be a massive waste of my time. He calls and says “I’m coming to get you, Barbara” which is a reference to an early line in the 1968 film, and as he throws the phone down, we can see his contact photo is an early publicity still for it too. He’s also black, which is probably a callback to the original’s groundbreaking casting (or maybe it isn’t and I’m just oversensitive?). So, nice subtle touches, so far so good.

Then he spends three minutes of the film trying to steal some petrol from a car with some dead people in it. The film, not exactly speedy up to this point, grinds to a halt and it never really bothers starting up again. To get to the root of it, I’m going to have to spoiler it slightly, but nothing past the first 30 minutes. So, Ben is seen driving down deserted roads, and finds a farmhouse. He takes his petrol cannister…and the family inside the house shoot him. So long, Ben! Now, it might reasonably be said at this point “why the balls did we just spend all that time watching Ben do nothing if you were only going to kill him off?” but we’re all wasting our time here.

Feel the excitement!

Feel the excitement!

So, we get the same old familar zombie movie beats, but with Welsh accents and the occasional “twist” to keep you guessing. There are some half-decent ideas in it, but buried under rotten acting and a budget of around zero.

If you were thinking of watching this, almost certainly due to the title, don’t bother. Please. It’s not good, or especially bad, it’s just really really boring. By the end, I was desperate for the credits because it meant I could get on with organising my sock drawer. It’s really that “nothing” a film, and it seems these filmmakers have form with doing “sequels” to “Silent Night, Bloody Night” and “House on the Edge of the Park”. Shame on them, really. It’s nothing to do with actually making sequels to beloved old horror classics, but using titles that have apparently fallen into the public domain in order to rip off people who aren’t paying attention.

It’s all so thoroughly depressing and pointless. I’ve been watching my sleeping dog for the past few minutes, and doing that was more entertaining than this. Avoid avoid avoid.

Rating: thumbs down

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s