Mansquito (2005)

f0f83df5-eefe-4ee3-ab57-2b85f356b070

I would like to use this review to ask an important question: why do “infected” people in cheap films never go and get help immediately? If you’re a scientist, as Musetta Vander is in this, then thinking “well, this turning-into-a-giant-mosquito thing might get better on its own” is just a terrible plan. This is most commonly used in zombie movies, of course, but works just as badly here.

The title “Mansquito” does most of the heavy lifting in terms of describing the plot – and yes, the main creature does look pretty much exactly as I’d imagine a 7-foot tall man / mosquito hybrid to look – and once the escaped convict has started running through the lab with all the radioactive insects in it, it’s a lovely sequence, like those car chases where you see a pane of glass being carried across a road and a rickety fruit & veg stall.

It’s all to do with some virus that’s killing people all over the place, and scientists try and stop it by genetically engineering some mosquitos to kill off the virus-carrying ones. One of them (Vander) is the kind-of girlfriend of cop Corin Nemec, rapidly becoming a favourite here at the ISCFC after his turns in “Robocroc” and the brilliant “Sand Sharks”. Their relationship is really odd – he comes across as a complete dog when pursuing her, but his affection seems genuine and despite getting the full-court press while vulnerable, she seems to love him too.

Mansquito runs around the city, killing indiscriminately, while Nemec and his unusual-sounding sidekick look for him, and Vander starts slowly transforming. There’s a showdown scene in a hospital, which will make no-one forget “Hard Boiled” but is actually surprisingly decent; and a giant bug zapper which clearly the writer couldn’t think of a pun for.

b640x600

This is an early SyFy Channel movie, and producers Nu Image seem to have been the Asylum, before Asylum. One thing that is good to note is that their films started off pretty bad and never really improved – apart from being a bit higher-budget than their more recent films and having an actual man in a rubber suit be the monster, it could have been made in 2013 and no-one would have batted an eyelid. One thing which does, I suppose, set this apart is the almost entirely eastern European cast, and the weird sound problems this causes. If I had to guess, I’d say everyone filmed their dialogue in English, but then all the voices apart from the two or three main cast members were dubbed in later by uninterested-sounding American voice people.

After seeing that these people can, when they try, make perfectly decent little B-movies, this is just no good and shouldn’t really be tolerated. But I’m betting I end a lot more of my reviews this way than I am with “well done SyFy Channel!”

Rating: thumbs down

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Mansquito (2005)

  1. Pingback: The ISCFC vs. The SyFy Channel |

  2. Pingback: Ice Spiders (2007) |

  3. Pingback: Sabotage (1996) |

  4. Pingback: Sea Beast (2008) (aka Troglodyte) |

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s